50 cent my life live

9.18  ·  7,048 ratings  ·  208 reviews
Posted on by
50 cent my life live

Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny by Holly Madison

Or, as I called the book in my head, Everyone is a Whore Except Me and Heres Why. Better yet: The Truth About Kettle: An Autobiography by Pot.

Look, Im not going to pretend that I had any good reason to read this book. Underneath the surface, this is a scathing indictment of unfair beauty standards, the fear of female sexuality, and the entire goddamn patriarchy (and Madison, delightfully, seems blissfully unaware of the deeper implications of some of her observations about the unfairness of life at the Playboy Mansion - shes just mad that all these girls were so mean to her). But thats not why I read it. I read it because behind-the-scenes look at trashy reality show is one of my favorite memoir styles, and Ive always been weirdly fascinated by mistresses, harems, harem culture, and the whole what men think women do when theyre not around vs. what women actually do issue. But mostly I just wanted dirt on Hugh Hefner, the weird atmosphere of the Playboy Mansion, and the women who were paid to have sex with Hefner under the guise of girlfriends.

I wanted dirt, and hoooooly shit, readers, does Holly Madison deliver the dirt. Its hilarious that the cover photo shows Madison holding a finger to her lips, because she is holding nothing back here. A more honest picture would be Madison shouting at the reader. Reading this book is sort of like sitting down for coffee with a casual acquaintance right after shes broken up with her boyfriend, and you have to sit there and listen politely while she unloads every complaint and annoyance she ever had while they were dating. In short, Holly Madison has some things to get off her chest, and god damn was I here for that. I read this book in two and a half days.

So, some background: Holly Madison spent seven years living in the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefners girlfriends. In the early years, she was one of a larger group of girls (who are always referred to by Hollys hilariously oblivious narration as the mean girls), but later the girlfriends shrank to three members: Madison, Bridgette Marquette, and Kendra Wilkinson. The women gained fame when they starred in a reality show based around the Playboy Mansion, and then eventually moved on to get their own shows once they left the mansion. Sidebar: there are a ton of The Girls Next Door episodes on YouTube right now, and there are worse ways to waste an afternoon.

Madisons memoir is an incredible portrait of a total lack of self-awareness. She spends most of this book desperately trying to convince the reader that she is somehow different than all the other women who dated Hugh Hefner and posed in his magazine. See, those other girls were dumb bimbos, but not Holly! She only pretended to be dumb! The other girls were cookie-cutter blondes who all looked like clones of each other, but not Holly! Sure, she bleached her hair and got plastic surgery, but only because she wanted to fit in! Its totally different! And the other girls were opportunistic sluts who only used Hef to gain fame! Not Holly! Sure, she left the mansion and got her own reality show, and went on Dancing With the Stars, and starred in a Vegas show, but she accomplished all of that on her own! The fact that each of these projects made direct references to her history with Playboy is just a coincidence!

It is stunningly absurd that, for all the time Madison spends insisting that shes built a career on her own and has completely escaped the shadow of Playboy, she can never convince the reader that shes become famous in her own right. I mean, for Gods sake, the subtitle of this book makes sure to mention that Madison is a former Playboy bunny because like it or not, that is Madisons sole claim to fame.

Of course, to hear Madison tell it, she was just playing the game, and was trying to get out all along. She never loved Hef, and had to pretend otherwise because it suited his cultivated image. She merely played along, Madison insists, until she was able to escape. The idea that other women may have had the exact same strategy has not occurred to Madsion, and she remains blissfully unaware of her own hypocrisy. One of the many, many bits of vengeful gossip Madison gives us is that Kendras signature loud laugh is completely faked, and that Kendra only started doing it to distinguish herself from the other women. This, readers, is the dictionary definition of pretty fucking rich because have you ever heard Holly Madisons laugh? She just bleats ha ha ha ha in a monotone, like someone who mispronounces a word because theyve only ever seen it written down.

And for all her railing against the mean girls of the mansion, Holly Madison is like the most petty and passive-agressive person Ive ever read about. After detailing her breakup with Vegas magician Criss Angel (Vegas. Magician. Criss. Angel.) Madison gleefully quotes, at length, all of the negative reviews his show received. Im pretty sure that Peep Show, Madisons own Vegas show, wasnt exactly showered in positive reviews, but as far as shes concerned, it was a massive hit and everyone loved her and her lifelike, nuanced acting. And Madison makes sure we know that after she left The Girls Next Door, the show was a failure without her and was quickly canceled. When Madisons own reality show is canceled after two seasons, she explains that this was right after a new president came on at E!, who wanted to move away from Playboy-related content. The implication is that, if it wasnt for this change in management, Hollys show would still be running today. When she is accused of starting a twitter fight with Hefners new girlfriend by claiming she stole her look (a look which, remember, Madison adopted in order to fit in with all the other bleached, surgically enhanced blondes at the Mansion), Madison is adamant that she did no such thing, and only posted a generic tweet about hating copycats. I see you, Madison. You aint slick.

And of course Holly Madison feels a personal affinity with Marilyn Monroe, unwilling patron saint of vapid starlets who want to appear complex. Heres one of the books more rage-inducing paragraphs:

Like me, Marilyn had suffered at the hands of some not very nice men. She was used, underappreciated, and struggled to find herself. She worked her way up in Hollywood with stars in her eyes and a kind heart, but found that Hollywood wasnt always as kind in return. She may have been publicly adored, idolized, and lusted after, but she often felt alone and trapped. Those dark demons eventually got the best of Marilyn. Part of me knows that could have easily been my fate had I not chosen to take care of myself. I only wish poor Marilyn could have done the same.

Wow. Wooooooow. I love this paragraph, because it reveals so much more about Madisons character than she realizes. She puts herself in the same category as Marilyn Monroe, one of the most famous and most talented women of her generation, and did everyone catch the way she subtlely blames Monroe for her own suicide? Gee, if only Monroe had chosen to take care of herself, she might still be alive! If only Holly Madison had been around to show her the way!

Underneath the drama and the fluff and the gossip, Madison is (perhaps unintentionally) exposing something much darker and far-reaching than a bunch of backstabbing mean girls. The real fascination of this memoir is watching Madison explore how she was brainwashed and virtually imprisoned, and how she went about the process of slowly undoing the damage she incurred at the Playboy mansion - a process that is still ongoing.

Simply put, Holly Madison is a survivor of domestic abuse, although she doesnt yet have the emotional vocabulary to articulate this. You only have to read a few paragraphs about Hugh Hefners intense control issues (he apparently hates red lipstick on women, and once screamed at Madison when she dared to wear it) and the way he pits the women against each other to realize that youre reading a description of a textbook abuser. When Madison is describing the steps she took to leave the mansion (saving money, making an escape plan), she sounds exactly like everyone who ever had to go through the process of escaping an abusive partner.

Its going to be easy for reviewers to demonize Holly Madison for her choices (and as you can see from the many, many paragraphs above, its hard not to) because, as I said in my review of Pamela Des Barress memoir of her time as a groupie, Madison is merely a symptom of a bigger disease. The real villain of this story is not backstabbing opportunistic women, but the man who orchestrated their struggles, and encouraged fighting among them so they would forget who the real enemy was. But Madison didnt forget, and shes at her best when her writing is full of righteous fury and frustration at Hugh Hefner, the man who kept her a virtual prisoner and destroyed her self-esteem so thoroughly that she contemplated suicide. Sure, Holly Madison is awful human being, but Hefner is the Dr. Frankenstein, while Madison is merely the monster that all the villagers go after with pitchforks.

In conclusion: fuck you, Hugh Hefner. Youre a bad person, Im glad your entire empire is crumbling, and I hope whatever barely-legal girl you marry next smothers you in your sleep.
File Name: 50 cent my life live.zip
Size: 55960 Kb
Published 10.05.2019

50 Cent - My Life ft. Eminem, Adam Levine

More by chefboydw

Before he even put out his first platinum record, 50 Cent 's life was changed forever. Luckily for the Queens rap juggernaut, his infamous shooting is only a small part of the story, and on his new single "My Life," Fif brings along Eminem and Maroon 5 rocker Adam Levine to detail his travels. The Symbolyc One-produced track starts with a rolling guitar lick and Levine's wailing hook, before revealing a sampling of the ever-so-classic drum break from Melvin Bliss' record "Synthetic Substitution," which has been used on Ultramagnetic MCs' favorite "Ego Trippin'" and more recently on G. Music's summer banger "New God Flow. From there, Curtis furthers the story, shedding light on the artists he's assisted and of course naming names and sending shots at former G-Unit artists. Eminem chimes in with a manic second verse where his voice jumps up and down going from eerily calm to downright crazy. Em's return to the spotlight may have him feeling on pins and needles again, as he lost the privacy he has craved throughout much of his rollercoaster career.

I was outside hustling but I still had to talk my grandmother into letting me walk home from school myself. My aunt Sylvie, she hated me being there. She had been the baby, then suddenly it was me. And I said to Sylvie, do you notice she always pauses and looks at me before she speaks to me? And Sylvie said, yeah.

I was outside hustling but I still had to talk my grandmother into letting me walk home from school myself. My aunt Sylvie, she hated me being there. She had been the baby, then suddenly it was me. And I said to Sylvie, do you notice she always pauses and looks at me before she speaks to me? And Sylvie said, yeah.

Posts navigation

Hi, 50! People all choose one. But 50 is fine. Where are you right now? Did you achieve that? But I feel reignited. I slept for two and a half hours yesterday.

3 thoughts on “Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny by Holly Madison

Leave a Reply