Aunt/Uncle Caring for (orphaned) Niece/Nephew (123 books)Saving
5 Childhood Lessons I've Revisited While Raising My Niece
A few months ago I wrote, in passing, that I was surprised by how many of the readers and commenters on Motherlode are not parents. Melanie is the founder of savvyauntie. Since the day I turned 35, and steadily more often as I approach 40, I am asked this by moms and dads with more of an accusatory tone than with any real concern. Yes, I would love to have kids. I would love to be a mom. But I think I need to find a father for those kids first. Answer to come below.
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My niece and nephew have been living with me for the past 7 years, they are now 12 and 10 years old respectively. Their mother has 3 other children she cares for and their father is in prison. They came to me very broken, in want and in need. My niece is a passive person and uses passive aggressive behavior at its best. He runs away from discipline or when he is angry. I have tried many different things, but it seems that he just needs to go through the anger and we must wait for it to calm down. What I am afraid of is that he is going to hurt himself or others since he is getting bigger now.
Just when you think you have it all figured out, BAM. Curveball to the heart! My reasons for not wanting children were many: There were the financial burdens, lack of sleep, loss of your sex life, the messy house, the potential disagreements between parents about how to raise and nurture a child, not to mention my desire to have my husband's undivided attention. Were these reasons selfish? But they were mine. Life's funny.