Aspergers in Love by Maxine C. AstonAsperger syndrome (AS) has often been considered to be incompatible with love and relationships, but as the number of people who are diagnosed with the disorder increases, it is becoming apparent that people with AS can and do have full and intimate relationships. Comparing and contrasting both AS and non-AS partners viewpoints, this book frankly examines the fundamental aspects of relationships that are often complicated by the disorder. With all findings illustrated with case examples taken from interviews conducted with couples, the author tackles issues such as attraction, trust, communication, sex and intimacy, and parenting. Drawing on her extensive research and established career as a Relate counsellor, Maxine Aston has produced a much-needed analysis of intimate relationships where one adult has AS and this book is a must for all those with AS and their partners, as well as for friends, family and counsellors.
Coping With a Partner's Asperger's Syndrome
I have submitted my story because I found so much reassurance and support from reading other women's accounts of their relationships with a person with Asperger syndrome. My husband and I have been married for 42 years and are of retirement age, although we both still work full-time. We have had serious relationship difficulties in certain areas for as long as we have known each other. We have seen probably about ten therapists, including CBT and couples therapists, but this has made absolutely no difference to our relationship. Several years ago we were all reading The Curious Incident of The Dog in the Night-Time , and both my husband and our older daughter remarked that they recognized certain aspects of themselves in the book. Until then I had never heard of Asperger syndrome; but the moment when the mother in the story asked her son if she might just hold his hand and he refused, dug a familiar hole in my heart.
Relationships are all about communication. This adversely affects the important quality of empathy, which is vital to a successful and fulfilling relationship. People involved in relationships with a mindblind partner report feeling invalidated, unsupported, unheard, unknown and uncared for. They suffer from severe, ongoing emotional deprivation that results in depression, loneliness, anger, low self-esteem, emotional breakdown, PTSD and physical illness. Many study the words and behavior of NT people around them, and copy it.
Being able to express your emotions and be emotionally supportive of each other is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. This can be difficult though, if you are in a neuro-diverse marriage, and over time you can both run out of energy trying to deal with these challenges. I will start with what it feels like to be a neurotypical partner with an Aspie, and then also talk about what it feels like to be an Aspie in a relationship with a neurotypical person. Here is a point questionnaire we have created that will help as a starting point. But the more of these points that you feel fit your relationship, the more likely that ASD can explain your particular set of difficulties.
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The Truth About Asperger's Syndrome - 4 - Intimate Relationships
When people meet me for the first time, they're often surprised to learn that I have Asperger syndrome. So begins today's guest blog, from my friend and fellow author David Finch. Like me, he has Asperger's. In this essay, David writes movingly about how his Asperger's affected his marriage, and what he's done to build a good life with the typical female of his dreams. As compliments go, it's not so bad.
Clinical experience has identified that the majority of such adolescents and young adults would like a romantic relationship. However, there is remarkably little research examining this aspect of autism spectrum disorders ASDs or strategies to facilitate successful relationships. Typical children do this naturally and have practised relationship skills with family members and friends for many years before applying these abilities to achieve a successful romantic relationship. They also can have an extreme sensitivity to particular sensory experiences. To achieve a successful relationship, a person also needs to understand and respect him- or herself.